Can you smell that in the air? No, it’s not the Fall season coming. Neither is it aliens mathematically destined to invade our planet on 09.09.09. No.

That smell is bullshit. And some of the finest you can find out in the wild-lands of the internet: Pre-Apple event bullshit and rumor-mongering.

Please repeat after me: Absolutely no one in tech reporting has any real idea about what Apple will be announcing today with the possible exception of Walt Mossberg, who tends to keep his mouth shut until Apple tells him he can talk.

The easy guess that everyone can predict reasonably well, given the title of the event and the leaked shots of new devices in new cases with little holes where there were no holes before, is that Apple will be revamping the iPod touch and the entire iPod lineup with integrated cameras.

Everything else being written about is pure, unadulterated conjecture. So who postures their conjecture the best? I think Gruber does an admirable job of talking out of his ass when he prefaces an over 10 paragraph long piece with the following bit of misdirection nonsense:

It’s Only Rock and Roll Event Prelude

The word is that Apple’s “secrecy machine” has been kicked back into high gear ever since you-know-who returned from you-know-what. Anecdotal evidence backs that up: I’ve heard very little about tomorrow’s “It’s Only Rock and Roll” event.

What I do know is what everyone knows: there are going to be new iPods. Everyone knows this because there’ve been new iPods announced at special music events just like this one every September since 2001.

Okay. First note: he titles his post twice. Hubris.

Secondly: his anecdotal evidence about the secrecy is crap. “I know it’s more secret because I haven’t heard anything.” Yeah, uh-huh. We already know what the things you hear are worth, Gruber. Nothing.

I have no idea what will be announced today…. just like everyone else. However, my wishful guestimate predictions are all contained in this tweet from yesterday. Because that’s what these predictions are worth: a single 140-character Tweet. They are most certainly not worth the entire group of TechMeme noise from the tech-pundit echo chamber that is currently bubbling up the charts.

//rant off

Reminder: Today’s Apple event occurs at 10am Pacific and 1pm Eastern. We’ll have coverage of any newly announced gadgetry over at Obsessable and I’ll probably post here later with my thoughts.

UPDATE: Looks like Apple started dropping prices on its iPods this morning before finally taking the entire Apple Store offline in preparation for today’s announcements. It seems a bit early to take the Apple Store offline. Considering things don’t start until 1pm, it looks like there may be a *lot* of announcements today.