Sample the Web

Alright, I’ve false started this twice before, but now I’ve finally found the workout that is going to keep me entertained and good to go on Project Get Fit With Fat C.K. 3rd times a charm and all. Also, as much as it chagrins me to say so, my friend Jason Calacanis’s incessant fatblogging has had an impact in getting me motivated to do something. However, I must say, my inspiration for this is still my good friend Scott McNulty who has done an amazing job of losing weight, and who was fatblogging long before Jason coined the term.

So what’s the plan? Well, first some history. As you may or may not know, I’m originally from Mississippi. I think one of the things that I’ve inherited from my Southern roots is that I’m naturally rebellious. This actually jives well with New York’s in your face attitude, as if someone tells me to do something, my natural reaction is to do exactly the opposite. In the South, you usually smile and say “Sure” before rebelling, but I’ve always been the type that prefaces the rebellion with a few choice words. Thus, why I love New York.

Anyway, so this presents a problem when trying to lose fat (note: we’re losing fat, not weight; weight is largely irrelevant and America is overly-weight conscious, thus why we’re all fad-dieting and getting extremely obese as a result), because most people who want to motivate you to lose fat do so in a negative way, telling me that I need to lose some weight. Rebelliousness kicks in and I go eat more food.

Second part of the backstory: I used to box. I don’t like to get into real fights, but I’m not scared of getting hit either. I wasn’t professional or anything, but most nights when I go out to a bar, I look over the place and I can tell whose ass I could kick and whose I could not if things were to fall from pleasant happy drinking. Most people just think of me as this kind of big guy, but I’m really strong, and more importantly, I’m surprisingly fast for someone my size.

I love boxing. It involves an intense ass-kicking workout that is fun. The other good thing about it is that it kicks your ass so nicely that you don’t have to worry about dieting and checking the scale all the time. You can feel the muscles growing and the fat shrinking in your body and you have to eat a lot to support the muscle growth, but, for me, it nicely regulates my hunger too, so that I grow hungry for what I need, don’t overeat, eat a large variety of foods, and I still grow healthier and lose weight.

Unfortunately, to do that workout well in the past I’ve needed about 3 hours of time, and that’s time that I just don’t have anymore. Time to prepare and head to a boxing-capable gym. 2 solid hours to workout, and then time to return home and shower. I’ve tried doing the workout at home without a full gym and people to workout with and it’s never remained as fun and so I’ve always lost track of it.

However, thanks to of all things, the Nintendo Wii, I’ve found a good alternative version of the workout. So here’s the plan:

Starting out: 300 crunches a day, 5 days a week. 3 sets of 100 rapid crunches, 1 set with legs straight out, 1 set with legs bent at knee and arms on either side of the head, and 1 set with legs bent at the knee and arms pointing straight up at the sky. I’ll do this until I’m up to speed, then move up to 500 a day, adding side crunches, and then I’ll keep gradually growing it, until I’m up to 1000 a day. Then we’ll see if I need to up it to 3000.

30 pushups (3 sets of 10). Then 50. Then 100, etc.

Full-stretching.

Then Wii Boxing. I’m too fast for the Wii to register all my punches, but if I pretend that I’m really boxing someone, it’s a great shadowboxing workout and I actually end up winning anyway. Starting out with a minimum of 5 rounds a day. I’ll up this as it goes along. I need to buy some wrist weights, as the Wii controllers aren’t heavy enough to nicely replicate my fighting gloves.

At least 3 days a week when it is warm enough, I’m going to go ride my bike for at least half an hour.

I just did a foreshortened version of this with the crunches, stretching, and the Wii boxing and it was fun and I can feel the burn in my arms and abdomen. Tomorrow, I’ll begin the full thing.

Things I won’t do:

1. I won’t weigh myself. It’s a bad way to judge health as muscle growth can psyche you out (since it’s heavier than fat).
2. I won’t go on any fad diets. I’ll continue to eat well-balanced meals and as I work out more, my body will begin to naturally register when I really need food and when I don’t, rather than misfiring as it does when I’m not working out enough.

Wish me luck.